After the weekend, I'm going to have an MRI on the thoracic part of my spine. This part of my back was left out the first time because most problems originate in the cervical or lumbar areas. However, the bone spurs that are compressing nerves in parts of my neck could very well be causing the rather severe pain in the middle part of my back. I cannot straighten my back without major pain now. Bone spurs can be "scraped" away as they are jagged calcium deposits. But, there are risks with surgery, as with any procedure. Right now, we only know of the two in my neck that are compressing the nerves. By the end of next week, my regular doctor and I will know the whole scope of the nerve compressions which are causing the pain from my neck down through the thoracic spine. At the same time I have arthritis and these bone spurs on my spine, I also have hypertonic muscles in my neck, back, and shoulders. My gp, not knowing exactly what is causing this reaction, diagnosed me with fibromyalgia. It could be a side effect of any one or more or combination of the 13 drugs I am taking right now. At one point, I was taking 17 medications, so a reduction of four should be a good thing, but most everyone I know is saying 13 is too much, especially for someone as young as I am.
Several weeks ago, I believe my mental illness changed from one thing and went to another. My original diagnosis was schizoaffective disorder. Well, I haven't heard voices in a very long time. But, about two months ago, I was becoming predominantly manic, most of the time. Its intensity kept getting stronger to the point I felt crazed. Everybody around me noticed it. I was more "chatty" and more upbeat, but soon I was bouncing off the walls and didn't know if I could hurt myself or others. This was the first time in my life I felt like I could harm another human being. I had been suicidal in my life, but I had never been truly manic before, never to the point that I was about to snap. Luckily, I was able to get into my psychiatrist's office the very day I called, being I told them I could be either suicidal or homicidal. He looked into my eyes and knew this was no joke. So, one of my medicines was doubled in dose, a drug used for bipolar disorder or schizophrenia, and another drug was introduced, primarily used for mania. Within two days, I felt like my old self again. A few people missed my really sociable personality, but most were glad I stabilized and became the old me. Anyway, the main point is I think I am now more bipolar than schizoaffective. I am on that one drug that works for both schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, but if that medication was removed, I really don't believe I'd hear voices again. I would just be afraid of the mania returning. It's strange. Mania, in some ways, feels really good. It's like being really pumped up and excited in a good way. However, its harmful potential is too great to allow it to occur.
Well, I am glad to be back home in the air conditioning after staying at my parents' house for three days. The afternoon temperatures are rising to near 90 degrees F here at the end of the week, even though the nights have been cool. I feel so bad for my folks and my sister. None of them have had electricity since early Sunday. Today, I packed up my refrigerator and freezer. No, actually, I just got a few things to eat for the next few days. I can't afford to "stock up." I have extended an open invitation for any of my family members to come over and stay with me. But, my parents are sort of standing by their generator because it has problems internally. It was driving all three of us crazy while I was staying over there. It would tank and almost shut off then soar like it was about to take off. At least once, it was emitting flames. Unfortunately, my folks have hundreds of dollars worth of food that they are trying to preserve. This is the third time they have had to use the generator, of course the first two times were for relatively brief stints. My father talked to someone from an electric company working on power lines, and they told him that it may be next Tuesday before electricity is restored to the neighborhood... that's about ten days after the "Ike" event. My sister, husband, and kids will probably get power sooner. An adjacent building in their condominium complex has electricity. They are going to a military wedding this weekend, and I told my sister today that she and her husband could get ready over here where it's nice and cool.
As a comparison between two extremely destructive weather events, it was noted on a local news channel that this windstorm knocked out power to about 300,000 households around Louisville whereas the "super" tornado outbreak of 1974 caused between 80,000 and 85,000 households to lose their electricity. Wow! This windstorm, a result of the remnants of Hurricane Ike, was phenomenal!
Friday, September 19, 2008
Thursday, September 18, 2008
A Quick Side Note
There is another thing to note about the effects of Hurricane Ike's remnants. It caused schools to be cancelled for an entire week in the Louisville area. This has never happened as a result of a windstorm, nor during the month of September. They plan to have classes resume next Monday with some certainty. Anyway, the last time in history schools had to be closed for such an extended period of time was as a result of a severe winter storm in January 1994 when parts of Kentucky and Indiana had between 15 and 18 inches of snowfall.
Hurricane Ike in the Ohio Valley
Today, electricity was restored to my condominium. It had been out since Sunday around noon. Hurricane Ike, which made landfall in the Galveston, Texas vicinity, made a track up through the Ohio Valley with hurricane force winds widespread in the Louisville area. The official peak wind gust was 81 mph. But, strong tropical storm force winds were sustained throughout the afternoon on Sunday, creating much damage and causing a 75 - 80% power outage for the local utility company, LG&E. In my parents' neighborhood, I saw many trees down, several falling onto housetops, others knocking down power lines. For a while, even telephone service was down. Now, it is four days later, and some businesses are just now getting power restored and opening up once again. LG&E officials have said that some areas might not get power for up to two weeks, 10 to 14 days after the onslought of the powerful windstorm. Usually, the remnants of hurricanes that reach this part of the country only bring torrential rains. But, this one made history! It was a windstorm, and not a rainstorm at all. In fact, little if any rainfall occurred. Unfortunately, Kentucky needs rain desperately. This is traditionally the driest time of year, but lawns are mostly brown and foliage is shriveling. It looks like this autumn season will bring a dry, far from spectacular change in fall color. Dull would probably be a good word to describe it. Well, I will report more about the storm later. There is much to be accomplished after four days without electricity.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Health News and Relationships...
Well, I talked to my regular doctor on the telephone a couple hours ago. I had a MRI done on the cervical and lumbar spine the beginning of last week. It showed nothing other than some general arthritis in the lumbar area, but there was a "moderate" nerve compression on the left side of the C3 and C4 vertebrae in the neck. The arthritic condition in that vicinity was also noted. An epidural type of surgery was mentioned. I guess that would mean injections. However, since the pain is not localized, my doctor did not believe that would helpful. Anyway, he wants me to make another appointment with him to discuss it further. I have asked my father to go with me for support. I really don't want to rely on narcotic pain killers and muscle relaxants for the rest of my life. Something has to be out there that would be beneficial.
Lastly, I was in a relationship that I thought had potential to be long-term. However, it has been reduced to mere friendship now. I'm not going to devalue friendship, but I loved someone who didn't love me back. It's a shame, but I keep telling myself that no one can have too many friends. At least, that's always been my philosophy! I'm giving this other person the space that they have needed, and maybe, just maybe, we will turn out to be really good friends. Actually, we had very good communication, but I was always ignoring the excuses and warning signs. I wanted to believe we were lovers and that this was the next long-term relationship in my life. I guess I was the best of dreamers. Well, I'm going to let things cool off, and like I said, give this individual the space that they even told me they desired. I could listen but not hear, the subtle difference.
Lastly, I was in a relationship that I thought had potential to be long-term. However, it has been reduced to mere friendship now. I'm not going to devalue friendship, but I loved someone who didn't love me back. It's a shame, but I keep telling myself that no one can have too many friends. At least, that's always been my philosophy! I'm giving this other person the space that they have needed, and maybe, just maybe, we will turn out to be really good friends. Actually, we had very good communication, but I was always ignoring the excuses and warning signs. I wanted to believe we were lovers and that this was the next long-term relationship in my life. I guess I was the best of dreamers. Well, I'm going to let things cool off, and like I said, give this individual the space that they even told me they desired. I could listen but not hear, the subtle difference.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
A Little Bit of Everything...
It has been almost three weeks now, and I'm still waiting to be referred to get my MRI done. I'm also waiting to hear from the same doctor's office to see when I can visit a neurologist. I was told it might take some time before I can see them, usually several months! Anyway, I am still in a lot of pain. Conversely, I have been feeling very good emotionally this week. I haven't felt this good in a long time. I think the medications are all finally right, the psychotropic ones, even though I am still taking 13 drugs total. Remember 4 of them are pain-related right now. Two are for allergies, two are heart-related, two are to treat the bipolar illness, two are for sleep, and one is for acid reflux. My insurance is crazy. They are more likely to pay for Viagra than they are to pay for a drug for acid reflux. They don't pay for my Clonazepam (Klonopin,) which is a benzodiazepam and is nearly $33 a month. Now, as of this year, they are not paying for my Somnote (the capsule form of Chloral Hydrate.) It is $82 a month. Both of these medicines are largely for sleep. Klonopin tends to keep you more at an even keel as well. Lastly, they stopped paying for Zyrtec, even though it is now generic. That's another $10 to $15 each 100 days. So, even though I have Medicaid, I still put out quite a bit in prescription drugs monthly.
I wanted to take this opportunity to give my condolences to one of my best friends who just lost his father. I can't imagine losing either one of my parents. Even though I don't see eye to eye on most issues with my mother or father, I still love them very deeply. And they not only tell me that they love me, they demonstrate it through many of their actions. I hope both of them are around for many more years, healthy, of course. However, I realize no one knows what the future holds. Who knows, I could go out driving on an errand tomorrow and be killed in an car accident. I'm the youngest, yet I could go first in some kind of tragedy. Like I said, nobody knows. I realize, however, that I don't work, unlike my sister, and I could be there for one or both of my folks, if at any time, they needed help that I could provide. I just hope they remain healthy until it is their time to pass on to the other side. Both of my mother's parents died with a heart that just stopped. Wouldn't that be the best way to leave this earth? Okay, I've talked enough morbidity in one blog. Anyway, Buzz, my thoughts and prayers are with you, your brothers, and especially your mother, as you all work your way through the process of grief. Please communicate with me when you are ready to talk!
Lastly, I have been going through a lot with my relationship with Louis. I think he is afraid of a long-term relationship, because he has never been in one that lasted more than six months. He tells me the other night, ironically the first night that I really started to feel better emotionally, that I can't be all that he needs in a boyfriend. He says that I can't motivate him to do things, to be with his friends and get out of the house as he needs. First of all, I've only met one of his friends at this point, and how could I encourage him to do something with someone I don't even know? I have no idea what any of his male friends are like. I could always support his desire to get out and be with somebody, even without my presence. Apparently, he feels the need to do things and participate in events on a regular basis. A steady relationship can work when one goes out and does something while the other stays home. I have no problem with it, anyway. Then, he tells me that I'm making him feel tied down. He said that he is not the kind of person who has a phone conversation with his significant other every single day. I really have no problem if we don't talk every day. I really enjoy hearing his voice each day, but if he feels less bothered to let a few days go by without conversation, then I guess I'll let it be that way. I really want to have a long-term relationship with Louis. In fact, I told him that I already love him. I have always said it in a manner where he would feel no pressure to respond likewise. I believe we are so complimentary, and there is a lot more about Louis that I like than anything that would be objectionable at all. There are two issues with him that are consistently a problem. First of all, he is always making suggestions. It is not that I care that he would advise me one way or another on an issue, it's just that sometimes he can be a bit on the pushy side. I know it's just because he cares, but he has in the past made suggestions that feel more like demands. However, I must say that he is realizing that he is doing this far too often, which certainly is a start. The other thing, the issue that bothers almost everybody he knows is his tardiness. He is always late!!! I try not to let it bother me, but at times, he is so far behind, that it alters our plans, or at least shortens the time that we spend together. In this area, I don't know if or how I can motivate him to be more prompt. I think the change has to come from within him, and I don't think confronting him all the time will make a difference. Anyway, that's all the lastest concerning the love of my life.
I wanted to take this opportunity to give my condolences to one of my best friends who just lost his father. I can't imagine losing either one of my parents. Even though I don't see eye to eye on most issues with my mother or father, I still love them very deeply. And they not only tell me that they love me, they demonstrate it through many of their actions. I hope both of them are around for many more years, healthy, of course. However, I realize no one knows what the future holds. Who knows, I could go out driving on an errand tomorrow and be killed in an car accident. I'm the youngest, yet I could go first in some kind of tragedy. Like I said, nobody knows. I realize, however, that I don't work, unlike my sister, and I could be there for one or both of my folks, if at any time, they needed help that I could provide. I just hope they remain healthy until it is their time to pass on to the other side. Both of my mother's parents died with a heart that just stopped. Wouldn't that be the best way to leave this earth? Okay, I've talked enough morbidity in one blog. Anyway, Buzz, my thoughts and prayers are with you, your brothers, and especially your mother, as you all work your way through the process of grief. Please communicate with me when you are ready to talk!
Lastly, I have been going through a lot with my relationship with Louis. I think he is afraid of a long-term relationship, because he has never been in one that lasted more than six months. He tells me the other night, ironically the first night that I really started to feel better emotionally, that I can't be all that he needs in a boyfriend. He says that I can't motivate him to do things, to be with his friends and get out of the house as he needs. First of all, I've only met one of his friends at this point, and how could I encourage him to do something with someone I don't even know? I have no idea what any of his male friends are like. I could always support his desire to get out and be with somebody, even without my presence. Apparently, he feels the need to do things and participate in events on a regular basis. A steady relationship can work when one goes out and does something while the other stays home. I have no problem with it, anyway. Then, he tells me that I'm making him feel tied down. He said that he is not the kind of person who has a phone conversation with his significant other every single day. I really have no problem if we don't talk every day. I really enjoy hearing his voice each day, but if he feels less bothered to let a few days go by without conversation, then I guess I'll let it be that way. I really want to have a long-term relationship with Louis. In fact, I told him that I already love him. I have always said it in a manner where he would feel no pressure to respond likewise. I believe we are so complimentary, and there is a lot more about Louis that I like than anything that would be objectionable at all. There are two issues with him that are consistently a problem. First of all, he is always making suggestions. It is not that I care that he would advise me one way or another on an issue, it's just that sometimes he can be a bit on the pushy side. I know it's just because he cares, but he has in the past made suggestions that feel more like demands. However, I must say that he is realizing that he is doing this far too often, which certainly is a start. The other thing, the issue that bothers almost everybody he knows is his tardiness. He is always late!!! I try not to let it bother me, but at times, he is so far behind, that it alters our plans, or at least shortens the time that we spend together. In this area, I don't know if or how I can motivate him to be more prompt. I think the change has to come from within him, and I don't think confronting him all the time will make a difference. Anyway, that's all the lastest concerning the love of my life.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Not So Good Health News...
Well, I wrote about the improvement in my heart function last time, but I didn't mention what's been going on with me lately. I have been in severe pain from the neck and shoulders area all the way down to the feet. A multitude of blood tests were done to rule out a number of possibilities, and they all came back negative. Now, I've waited two weeks at this point to get an MRI scheduled. My doctor believes I either have a tumor growing in my cervical spine vicinity, or I have a pinched nerve in that area. An MRI would show what's happening, but I have a feeling that my insurance doesn't want to pay for it, because it is very expensive. At the same time, I'm taking four different medications for the pain alone. I'm taking Lortab (the narcotic pain reliever), the top dose of Ibuprofen, Soma (a muscle relaxant), and Neurontin (which is suppose to relieve neuralgia... any type of nerve pain.) It's taking all four of these drugs to touch the pain. Why does it seem like there always has to be something that's not quite right with me? I have no idea. But, I don't believe in bad luck.
Anyway, it's not all bad news. Louis, who I wrote about in the last blog, is still there for me, constantly. If we miss a day talking to each other, it's a rare occasion. Nothing that I've gone through has freaked him out. He always has advice, even though I don't appreciate all of it. But, I've definitely needed someone other than my parents to talk to regularly. I have other friends, but they all have very hectic schedules. I don't blame them for not contacting me frequently. I'm the type of person who is introverted and has very few close friends. Louis, on the other hand, is an extrovert who needs to be with friends almost every day. So, after talking many times, I think he finally understands I'm not the socially needy type of individual. I like all the time I spend alone. As long as I have my music, both to play and listen to, I'm perfectly content. Well, it looks like an August heat wave is going to set in this weekend. I hope all the people in the eastern half of the country have a cool place to be. In the long term, it looks like temperatures will return to a more normal type of heat by the latter part of next week. I hope we have nothing like last August where Louisville hit over 100 degrees F at least ten times! Well, keep cool! I mean that in the literal and figurative types of speech.
Right now, I have a showdown going on with my parents. My dad put a McCain sticker on his car. I said to myself that once he does it that I'm going to find an Obama sticker and show my support for the other side. I can't believe anyone would support a candidate that would continue four more years of failed Bush policies. Our economy is a wreck, and Bush policy supports corporate greed by giving them tax breaks. We learned in the 1980s under Reagan that trickle down economics doesn't work. They don't create more jobs, they keep the money. It's time tax breaks were given to those who need it. I know it sounds cliche, but the rich get richer and the poor get poorer under a Republican administration. The middle class has virtually disappeared. They said today in the news that Obama is playing the race card, but racism is quite alive and well in 2008. I think there are a lot of people who won't vote for Obama simply because he's black. And there remains the myth that he is somehow Muslim. He has said directly into the camera that he has never been a Muslim. If he is a liar, he's a damn good liar. Anyway, that's my political soapbox for this day. Please respond as you so desire...
Anyway, it's not all bad news. Louis, who I wrote about in the last blog, is still there for me, constantly. If we miss a day talking to each other, it's a rare occasion. Nothing that I've gone through has freaked him out. He always has advice, even though I don't appreciate all of it. But, I've definitely needed someone other than my parents to talk to regularly. I have other friends, but they all have very hectic schedules. I don't blame them for not contacting me frequently. I'm the type of person who is introverted and has very few close friends. Louis, on the other hand, is an extrovert who needs to be with friends almost every day. So, after talking many times, I think he finally understands I'm not the socially needy type of individual. I like all the time I spend alone. As long as I have my music, both to play and listen to, I'm perfectly content. Well, it looks like an August heat wave is going to set in this weekend. I hope all the people in the eastern half of the country have a cool place to be. In the long term, it looks like temperatures will return to a more normal type of heat by the latter part of next week. I hope we have nothing like last August where Louisville hit over 100 degrees F at least ten times! Well, keep cool! I mean that in the literal and figurative types of speech.
Right now, I have a showdown going on with my parents. My dad put a McCain sticker on his car. I said to myself that once he does it that I'm going to find an Obama sticker and show my support for the other side. I can't believe anyone would support a candidate that would continue four more years of failed Bush policies. Our economy is a wreck, and Bush policy supports corporate greed by giving them tax breaks. We learned in the 1980s under Reagan that trickle down economics doesn't work. They don't create more jobs, they keep the money. It's time tax breaks were given to those who need it. I know it sounds cliche, but the rich get richer and the poor get poorer under a Republican administration. The middle class has virtually disappeared. They said today in the news that Obama is playing the race card, but racism is quite alive and well in 2008. I think there are a lot of people who won't vote for Obama simply because he's black. And there remains the myth that he is somehow Muslim. He has said directly into the camera that he has never been a Muslim. If he is a liar, he's a damn good liar. Anyway, that's my political soapbox for this day. Please respond as you so desire...
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
A Long Time Has Passed...
Hello readers! I haven't blogged in months now. I am now inspired because there is a new love in my life. Yes, this person is 20 years my senior, but our relationship seems to work out just fine. We are both fans of an eclectic collection of music, but we both seem to love the original disco from the 1970s. I have always felt like I was born in the wrong generation, well, at least I'd like to have been about 10 years or so older, so I could have enjoyed that time period of music as an adult. He is a big fan of classical music, jazz, Broadway soundtracks, and a bit of pop music here and there. I don't think he understands my love of rock music, sometimes heavy rock, but he knows I play guitar and love to figure out guitar riffs from the past. He has yet to hear my music compostions on the keyboard or the two guitar songs I have written and performed on tape. One of the guitar song lyrics are from a poem I wrote some time back, the other was an off-the-cuff love song that I wrote for my ex about 10 years ago. In one of the two songs, I used the B7 chord, which is very difficult to play on the acoustic guitar. I have to develop tough fingertips in order to do it, as well as keep my finger nails trimmed practically to the quick!
I am writing today because I am having an off-day. I am so tired that I don't feel like doing a thing! Part of it is my fault, but I slept very little last night. I didn't get myself to the pharmacy last night to pick up a medicine that plays a role in my time and quality of sleep. Anyway, I thought it was time to blog after many months of silence, especially after meeting someone who has brought inspiration back into my life! After meeting Louis, I began playing music again, which is something I hadn't done in many, many months. I'm referring to actually picking up an instrument and playing it. I am always listening to music on my stereo! Right now, I'm trying to put together a collection of songs onto cd from about the mid '70s to the mid '80s to play when the family gets together at the swimming pool at my mom and dad's house. I'm choosing songs that my parents could tolerate, but would be appreciated by me, my sister, and her husband. Right now I have about 40 songs selected, so it will probably take 2 discs to put them together. I know, I don't believe it's legal, but I think since I bought the cds, I should have the right to make a collection of my own.
Well, I do have other good news. The last time I had a check on my cardiac output, the numbers improved. I was going to have to have a pacemaker/defibrillator surgically implanted, but since my ejection fraction went up, that procedure became unnecessary... at least any time soon. Thank God!!! I wasn't looking forward to the implant surgery. At the same time, I have heard that a lot of people have felt tremendously better after getting the pacemaker. I may want to do it anyway... at least some time down the road. I guess I didn't mention that I had an increase in the dosage of one of my heart medications before the last test was done. The cardiologist thought the higher dose of medication might improve my heart function, and, well, I guess he was right.
It won't be difficult to remember the date I met Louis because it was on June 21st... the summer solstice! Any weather guy is aware of such things as the longest day of the year. Our relationship has moved rather fast, mostly because we have been open and honest about everything in our lives. At first, Louis thought I was rather self-absorbed because I kept rattling on about myself and all my life stories. He didn't think I was showing much interest in him. But, since he was honest enough to tell me that early on, we have been more equal in sharing information about ourselves. Sometimes, I just need to be quiet and let the other person talk. I used to be so shy, but lately, there has been a significant change in my personality. Everybody has noticed! At times, I think I become manic and really chatty. I probably need to share this with my psychiatrist, but it feels good to be a more outgoing person. I've become really excited to do karaoke of late. I think I'm now the least timid person in my family doing karaoke. I've had compliments about my singing, so I suppose I'm a bit more confident. I love to sing. One of my neighbors in my condominium complex suggested that I join a choir. I'll have to give that some thought. I don't go to church anymore, so I guess it will have to be a secular type of choir. I know that I probably should go to church somewhere, but I really have no interest in doing so. I don't think I'm missing anything really, except for perhaps the social aspect. I still believe in God, but I have become rather indifferent about organized religion. It might have something to do with my more left-leaning politics of recent times. Louis and I come from two different religious traditons, but it doesn't bother me in the least. I think we are all God's children, and I remember that my "big brother" once told me that God doesn't create any junk, so what do I have to worry about?
Well, on this very hot and humid July afternoon, it is getting ready to storm, so I probably should get off-line. Geez, was it ever miserable when I went outside today! I hope this thunderstorm knocks the temperature down a good 15 or 20 degrees F. I, personally, can't wait for autumn! I despise hot weather! I think once my mom and dad pass away, I should move to the west coast or something. I saw the high in San Francisco several days ago was only 63 degrees F. I would give anything for such a lovely cool day! Anyway, I guess I've written enough for today. I know several of you have wondered what had happened to me. Well, I'm back. I will be writing again soon. Next time I'll share about my Whiteley family reunion last month. It was wonderful, and I was actually the one who organized it! I missed several family members, but I certainly enjoyed the company of those who came. More later... :o)
I am writing today because I am having an off-day. I am so tired that I don't feel like doing a thing! Part of it is my fault, but I slept very little last night. I didn't get myself to the pharmacy last night to pick up a medicine that plays a role in my time and quality of sleep. Anyway, I thought it was time to blog after many months of silence, especially after meeting someone who has brought inspiration back into my life! After meeting Louis, I began playing music again, which is something I hadn't done in many, many months. I'm referring to actually picking up an instrument and playing it. I am always listening to music on my stereo! Right now, I'm trying to put together a collection of songs onto cd from about the mid '70s to the mid '80s to play when the family gets together at the swimming pool at my mom and dad's house. I'm choosing songs that my parents could tolerate, but would be appreciated by me, my sister, and her husband. Right now I have about 40 songs selected, so it will probably take 2 discs to put them together. I know, I don't believe it's legal, but I think since I bought the cds, I should have the right to make a collection of my own.
Well, I do have other good news. The last time I had a check on my cardiac output, the numbers improved. I was going to have to have a pacemaker/defibrillator surgically implanted, but since my ejection fraction went up, that procedure became unnecessary... at least any time soon. Thank God!!! I wasn't looking forward to the implant surgery. At the same time, I have heard that a lot of people have felt tremendously better after getting the pacemaker. I may want to do it anyway... at least some time down the road. I guess I didn't mention that I had an increase in the dosage of one of my heart medications before the last test was done. The cardiologist thought the higher dose of medication might improve my heart function, and, well, I guess he was right.
It won't be difficult to remember the date I met Louis because it was on June 21st... the summer solstice! Any weather guy is aware of such things as the longest day of the year. Our relationship has moved rather fast, mostly because we have been open and honest about everything in our lives. At first, Louis thought I was rather self-absorbed because I kept rattling on about myself and all my life stories. He didn't think I was showing much interest in him. But, since he was honest enough to tell me that early on, we have been more equal in sharing information about ourselves. Sometimes, I just need to be quiet and let the other person talk. I used to be so shy, but lately, there has been a significant change in my personality. Everybody has noticed! At times, I think I become manic and really chatty. I probably need to share this with my psychiatrist, but it feels good to be a more outgoing person. I've become really excited to do karaoke of late. I think I'm now the least timid person in my family doing karaoke. I've had compliments about my singing, so I suppose I'm a bit more confident. I love to sing. One of my neighbors in my condominium complex suggested that I join a choir. I'll have to give that some thought. I don't go to church anymore, so I guess it will have to be a secular type of choir. I know that I probably should go to church somewhere, but I really have no interest in doing so. I don't think I'm missing anything really, except for perhaps the social aspect. I still believe in God, but I have become rather indifferent about organized religion. It might have something to do with my more left-leaning politics of recent times. Louis and I come from two different religious traditons, but it doesn't bother me in the least. I think we are all God's children, and I remember that my "big brother" once told me that God doesn't create any junk, so what do I have to worry about?
Well, on this very hot and humid July afternoon, it is getting ready to storm, so I probably should get off-line. Geez, was it ever miserable when I went outside today! I hope this thunderstorm knocks the temperature down a good 15 or 20 degrees F. I, personally, can't wait for autumn! I despise hot weather! I think once my mom and dad pass away, I should move to the west coast or something. I saw the high in San Francisco several days ago was only 63 degrees F. I would give anything for such a lovely cool day! Anyway, I guess I've written enough for today. I know several of you have wondered what had happened to me. Well, I'm back. I will be writing again soon. Next time I'll share about my Whiteley family reunion last month. It was wonderful, and I was actually the one who organized it! I missed several family members, but I certainly enjoyed the company of those who came. More later... :o)
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